Should You Live In Shared Accommodation?

L'Auberge Espagnole
L’Auberge Espagnole

Should I live in shared accommodation?


Why would you even consider it!?

Actually, to get straight to the point – you couldn’t have a more ridiculous idea.

Think, where can you live? With friends? Flatmates? Parents!?

Okay, look at the benefits of living with likable people. If you’re friendly with people, maybe you think it will be cool to live together. Like, if you’re in a band and want to live with band mates to make music – great! Or if you want to cook big group meals – great! But consider the difficulties – including living by other peoples bathroom schedules…

Difficulties Of Shared Accommodation

Firstly, the cleanliness of your apartment is not just your responsibility. This means you might wake up to a stack of dirty dishes, stains on the carpet or spilled wine on your coffee table. You could mop the kitchen floor on Sunday, and find it covered in muddy footprints on Monday. This opens doors to a multitude of arguments. But with no flat mate, it’s your responsibility – either you keep it clean, or you live like Stig Of The Dump.

shared accommodation
“My house, my rules!”

Secondly, you’ll have various hassles with noise level. For example, if you have a neighbor who wakes up early, you’ll need to quiet your music earlier in the night, to let him sleep. Likewise, if you or your flatmate play an instrument, you might get frustrated with self-made music echoing around the house, sometimes out of tune. Lastly, having a flatmate means you may have to keep silent when pleasuring a woman, “Hey girl, be quiet would you… My flatmate is sleeping!”

shared accommodation
“Shush girl, he has to get up at 6 am!”

Finally, let’s talk bringing girls home. You might have to sneak them in. Suppose you want to sex an ugly/crazy chick! You’ll have to sneak her past everyone, and that’s not cool. Plus, if you’re bringing girls home often, your flat mates could poke their noses in your relationships and that is never good idea… No no no!

Should I Refuse To Live With My Friends?

You may enjoy spending time with them, you may find them fun and entertaining, but if you start living together, new doors open and lead to new experiences of drama and arguments. There’s a psychologist called Bruce Tuckman who developed a theory about the formation of teams. In this theory he discusses four stages, the team forms, the team storms, the teams norms, and then the team performs. What this means, is that the second stage is full of arguments and drama. It’s where people quit a job, leave their friendship group or quit a band. This is heightened when you live together.

I find that when I refuse to live with my friends, I continue to be friends with them for a longer time. After all, they are FRIENDS not flat mates. I now prefer to have my own space and invite them over, or visit them – sometimes I’ll stay on their couch for the night – and that helps build and maintain the relationship. But ultimately, having your own property leads to better friendships.

My Own Free Space!

Having your own place is great because you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. There’s no waiting until your parents go away for the weekend, so you can invite girls over. There’s no arguing about mess, decorations, shower times, cooking times etc. In my opinion, the aim of the pickup game is to have your own freedom – and you don’t get that with shared accommodation.

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