Penguin Joins Islamic State

penguin
Photograph By Ronnie Macdonald//Flickr

A Humboldt penguin from Chester Zoo has developed an Islam extremist attitude.

The South American penguin was missing from the colony as they “tobogganed” on their bellies last Saturday, but was found in it’s burrow performing a prayer ritual.

At feeding time, it stole a bucket of sea food, slapped a zoo keeper and then held up a severed fish head while squawking:  “Allahu Akbar.”

Currently, the daily routine of the penguin is:

  • 08:00 – Light swimming
  • 14:45 – Feeding time
  • 16:00 – Bomb construction

The zoo said the penguin enclosure has suffered from a severe division. The North has been captured by radical Islam penguins while Christians and Muslims are cohabiting in the South.

It is thought that many penguins are waiting to be relocated to breeding programs in other zoos, so they can achieve a zoo-wide caliphate.

‘Very unorthodox’

Keeper Karen Neech said some of the colony have been acting “very unorthodox” since she fitted the enclosure with free WiFi.

“I chose to work with penguins because they are calm, loving creatures. I would’ve worked in the monkey enclosure if I wanted to be pelted with shit.”

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A Humboldt penguin from Chester Zoo has developed an Islam extremist attitude. Click To Tweet

Some of the penguins have now banded together to form the Islamic State for the Island Enclosure (ISIE).

Since Tuesday, they have been making threats to the Pope via Twitter. One tweeted: “Soon I’m coming for the gaffer in the silly hat.”

You can visit Chester Zoo to see the ISIE penguins or follow the situation live on the penguin webcam.

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