Parliament To Meet At Starbucks

parliament, starbucks
Photograph By Eric Huybrechts/Flickr

THE PALACE of Westminster will be empty this year because the British Parliament have agreed to host all future meetings in trendy coffee shop, Starbucks.

Not all MPs are happy with the change of setting, owing to preferences of modern independent coffee shops. However, a source revealed the deciding factor was that Starbucks’ green and brown atmosphere would make most MPs feel “right at home”.

Sarah Bramwell, a 23 year old Starbucks waitress said, “It’s dreadful. Aren’t they all going to order Twinings Earl Grey?” Miss. Bramwell noted that most MPs are unlikely to be considerate and are bound to appear around busy lunch time hours. She also mentioned that Starbucks doesn’t actually stock Twinings Earl Grey.

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Chairman and CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz said he’s currently discussing the relocation process with Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. “As there are many MPs, we have a serious problem with seating arrangements.”

Leader of the House of Commons, Chris Grayling said: “The plans to move were suggested by Nigel Farage. He spotted that we had employed over 23 coffee runners.

“We all knew if we get rid of the coffee runners and move the debates to a coffee shop, it would be an effective way to save taxpayer cash.”

Grayling admitted that many people think that relocating the British Parliament will destroy the current coffee culture, but the move is only an attempt to bring politics to the people and to “get with the times”.

At press time, Jeremy Corbyn revealed plans to restructure the Palace of Westminster and open it at evening times as a trendy new whisky bar called Palace of Whisky.

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