How To Improve Your Inner Game

inner game
Sing Street

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.”—Buddha

After reading this, you’ll understand the three core constituents which influence your inner game.

The Gift Of Negative Emotions

First of all, you need to start engaging your emotions. What I mean by that is you need to pay attention to when you have a change in feeling because it is at these moments where you will find your world view and current beliefs.

For your benefit, here is a list of some negative emotions:

  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Shame
  • Disappointment
  • Embarrassment
  • Envy
  • Guilt
  • Offense
  • Jealousy
  • Sadness

If you catch yourself feeling any one of these emotions, you can be sure that something externally has provoked your inner beliefs (inner game). This will change your thoughts, and cause you to behave in weird and different ways.

For example, when you accidentally spit on someone, you might start blushing and lose your flow in the conversation. You might even excuse yourself from the conversation and escape.

The Gift Of Thought

This brings us to the second point, you need to study the meanings you attach to each external event. By that, I mean as you go through your day, you unconsciously apply your own thoughts to every experience and situation.

Let’s use our previous example. After seeing your spit land on someone’s blazer lapel, you may think:

  • “Oh. Fuck. I’m such a moron.”
  • “This guy’s gonna be disgusted with me.”
  • “Oh. Shit! I just messed up my job interview.”
  • “There’s no way we’ll be friends now…”

Or any other various thoughts your brain may churn out…

Understand, that your behavior links to your thoughts and then causes your emotions. Let me rephrase that—emotions are an end-result of thoughts about your behavior.

Therefore, when you catch yourself feeling a negative emotion. Grab a pencil, and write down every thought that ran through your mind.

The Gift Of Behavior

And that brings me to my last point: learn how to change your behavior, so that it helps you tackle your unhelpful thoughts.

In other words, if you experiment with various behaviours, you might find out that the thoughts you wrote down were just plain completely wrong!

Let’s say that, instead of blushing and escaping the conversation. You acknowledge the gum ball which landed on the guy’s lapel, “Oh, would you look at that! How funny! Anyway…” And perhaps you could even playfully wipe it off.

At this point, you must observe his behavior and see if he was disgusted or not. He might actually laugh, and let you carry on with your conversation.

If it’s a job interview, you might actually get it! (And that would 100% prove your thoughts wrong).

In conclusion, emotions are caused by wrong thinking attached to personal behaviors. If you catch yourself feeling negatively, you can stick around, change your behaviors and prove your thoughts wrong.

Overtime, every unhelpful thought you have, will be replaced with positive evidence. This is how you build solid inner game.

Thank you for reading,

C

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