In the same way that I wouldn’t want to be caught dead saying:
“Oh girl, I’m just negging you.”
I also wouldn’t want to say:
“Oh girl, I’m just self-amusing.”
Actually, I’d much rather say—
“I’m just trying to make you laugh.”
My point is that this concept of “self-amusement” is completely wrong and redundant. Let me tell you why:
How To Fail With Self Amusement
Firstly, if you focus on just amusing yourself, you stand a high chance of losing the girl. In fact, that’s a good catch phrase:
Amuse yourself, lose the girl.
That’s because if you go too far while being unaware of your audience—you’re now the ‘strange creepy guy‘.
For your purposes, I’ll tell you a personal example!
I once said to a girl, “You look like bananas in pyjamas!”
Unfortunately, she didn’t understand the reference, she got wierded out and thought that I was crazy. So I explained the joke to her which just made things worse.
At the time, I wasn’t strong enough to overcome that awkwardness so the interaction went sour and she made excuses to leave.
To give you a more serious point, let’s mention Julien Blanc. When he was “self-amusing” he posted that photo on twitter, which is now infamous.
This innocent act of self-amusement put him under fire from the mainstream media and almost caused him to lose his entire business.
My point is that self-amusement is not a useful tactic for “pick up” (whether you want to build a business, or get girls) because you’re focused on yourself, when you should be focused on your women and your clients.
Why You Shouldn’t Tell Certain Jokes
Men and women usually have different senses of humor, so amusing yourself with your usual jokes, will probably leave her feeling creeped out.
There was a time I was at a comedy club and a girl actually walked out because she hated the comedian’s jokes so much.
That’s because he was on stage talking about his masturbation habits. Some men in the audience were laughing, but no girl was laughing.
As Patrice O’neal would say, women filter out anything that’s “inappropriate“.
This is why men like to have locker room chat, or go to the pub and have Man Time. In reality, there’s many jokes we need to make, which only other men will understand.
How To Do Humor The Right Way
Finally, you should focus on your audience because when you are leading, or picking up, or dealing with other people in general, it’s best to forget your “self” and focus entirely on the other person.
That’s the best advice you’re ever going to get.
Actually, pick up should feel like meditation. It certainly does for me, because when I’m with a girl, I put all my thoughts to one side and think entirely about her. And that’s what makes me so much fun to be with.
—I’m not being a selfish prick and doing things just for my own benefit. Who wants to be around that guy?
I recently made a joke with a girl I’m dating:
I was eating a protein bar and she wanted some, so I kissed her and pushed some into her mouth. Then I said, “It’s like I’m a big bird feeding a little bird.”
That made us both laugh and that’s the right way to do it. It frames you as the alpha in the situation, while putting in an animal reference which gets the laughs.
That’s how you go old skool “cocky funny“—the David DeAngelo way.
In conclusion, I suggest that you forget entirely about this fraud, wrong and useless concept of “self-amusement” and learn how to position yourself as the alpha dog and then very deliberately make girls laugh.
Hint: animal references and innuendos are very useful.
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