How To Handle The Silent Treatment

silent treatment
The Late Bloomer

“If I cannot understand my friend’s silence, I will never get to understand his words.”—Enoch Powell

Who Still Uses The Silent Treatment?

Firstly, you should be cautious around people who use the silent treatment. These people are typically narcissists with a particularly immature and undeveloped emotional sense of health.

For example, a girl may stop talking to you because you didn’t invite her out on your boy’s night. Or you told her that you wouldn’t take her to a restaurant this week.

Be wary that this is similar to a little boy who will stop talking to his parents because they refused to buy him sweets. Note that if his tactic succeeds in manipulating his parents (meaning that they surrender and buy sweets), he will do it again and again.

How Do You React To The Silent Treatment?

Secondly, let’s talk about how you can react. Overall, you should try to appear—and actually feel—calm and unaffected. Essentially, maintain a positive attitude and continue living your life.

Here are some behaviors you can try:

  • Sigh, smile and roll your eyes (show you don’t take it seriously).
  • Avoid calling her “rude,” “selfish,” or “immature,” (This will make the situation worse!)
  • Understand what you did to cause her to react with silence.
  • Take some time off to relax and chill out.

Note: If she keeps the silent treatment going for an unusual period of time (I’d say 1 day face-to-face or 3 – 4 days on the phone) try and talk it through with her. In this case, ask why she feels so upset.

The phrase, “Okay, tell me what’s going on in your head,” is always useful.

What Does It Mean About Your Self-Esteem?

Finally, you should always be working on your own self-esteem. What I mean is that you should be developing your mental strength and inner game (to feel core-confident).

So, ask yourself what you feel when your girl gives you the silent treatment.

Do you feel insecure? Anxious? Afraid? Worried? Lonely?

Do you feel like it’s your fault?

If you’re feeling any of these emotions, you’re allowing the silent treatment to control you.

If you were a truly confident person, you would understand that you are in control of your own feelings. In other words, her silent treatment would not have an affect on you.

Someone with a strong self-esteem would give himself plenty of love, while allowing her to behave however she wants—without casting judgement.


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