How Many Dates Should You Wait Before Sex?

The Tuxedo

Sometimes you’re really horny and you just want to get laid. Perhaps you have girls, but you’re waiting… waiting… waiting… and you wonder, “Should I wait, or should I break it off?”

Here’s my rundown of the waiting-for-sex dilemma:

Does It Relate To Your Meeting Place?

With my modus operandi, and by that I mean meeting women in the day, I find that I’ll wait for 2 – 3 dates before having sex. (That’s assuming I have my own place.)

However, If you’re sexual from the start, and filtering for women who are DTF, you might expect to bed her on the first date.

For example, using Tinder, many of my friends have laid women within three hours. Although, I don’t personally use Tinder because I find that many cunning photos manoeuvre me into dates with non-beautiful girls. And I hate those dates, even if the women do want sex on day one.

Occasionally, you might find a girl who needs more patience because of her sexual inexperience. Then you’ll want to wait for however long you need. For this type of women, I’ve waited up to seven dates.

♥ To digress, back in 2010, two years after I started picking up women, I waited 3 months to bed a girl. Afterwards, we were in a sexual relationship for 5 months (that’s 8 months spent together).

Let me add that during the relationship she refused to call me her “boyfriend” and I kept asking and asking. And asking and asking. (Hint: Don’t make the same mistake.)

Understand Your Woman

For this, I want to divide women into five categories (Only for the sake of this article):


Firstly, there are girls who want sex as soon as possible. As mentioned above, you can find these girls on Tinder. You can also find these girls in nightclubs (although they might not be the most mentally stable!).

Plus, you occasionally meet women who have just broken up with their boyfriend, or have been sitting calm until they find a man they admire.


Then, there are girls who are apprehensive. To them, you are a strange unknown and therefore, obviously, they are shy and worried. You might, after all, like most men, expect sex on the first date and upon rejection show your insecure bitter anger.

Women do not like these men.

Of course, you are not most men, you’re calm, patient and respectful. And that will clear her apprehension. From my experience, most women fall under this category.


Thirdly, there are women who don’t think you’re strong enough. They see that you’re confident, sociable and charming but they also have these skills.

These women have the feeling that, like most men, you’re putting on an act of false bravado to catch their attention.

This is obviously not the case with you, after a few dates you’ll show them that you are genuinely that confident, and their doubts will be vanquished. Note: you don’t put on an act of false bravado, you put your best into every life situation.


Next, there are girls who are inexperienced. These women are bothered about being “just another number”. In other words, they dislike the idea of not being valued, of feeling like another bedpost notch.

With these women, it’s important that you know and respect their individuality. Perhaps you’ll wait seven dates; it’s a good filter system which lets women know you enjoy their company.

Basically, if you don’t like these women, you’ll get bored and spend your time elsewhere. So show them you enjoy the dating process, the mutual conversation, and the personal jokes.

With regards to your own experience, show her that you know what you are doing, and you are comfortable doing it. When you’re patient, she will want to be taken.


Lastly, there are girls who want you as a friend. If you show no sexual edge but you are interesting, this will happen tenfold.

Women find it difficult to make male friends, because most guys are odd and not socially skilled. For that reason, if you’re an interesting guy and you provide nights of free dinner and great conversation, they’ll put you in the dreaded “friendzone”.

If you want the truth, just watch her reaction as you touch her arm or look at her lips. You’ll spot these women reversing as you enter their personal space.

How Can You Tell The Difference?

Ultimately, the only way to know is to ask. Be careful to ask with tact, ie, not scarily or creepily.

“Hey, are you a virgin?” is inappropriate.

“I wonder how many guys you’ve dated…” is more suitable.

From some subtle probing, you can get your answers and learn about her past history to understand how she’s reacting to your advances.

♥ To talk about the girl I sexlessly dated for 3 months. I’ve only ever done this once and I suspect it’s a really rare case. As I write this article, I’m trying to understand why she decided to give herself to me.

Looking back, I believe it was easy to see my naivity, immaturity and insecurity. So you’d think she’d stop responding to my calls.

However, perhaps she saw a spark of potential, my crazy originality, and loved that I kept on pursuing her relentlessy. I suppose it’s true that 80% of the battle is always continuing to show up, no matter what.

Could You…?

Listen up, it’s your own choice how long you wait.

For me, the average wait is 2 – 3 dates, but if you like a woman and you’re happy to court her and enjoy waiting for sex, then you can throw your clock out of the window.

If you’re not impressed with her, you can stop sending her texts, and stop wasting your time. Go and find a charismatic woman, who’ll provide you with great company. There are plenty, and they’re the reason you play the game.

If you’re now wondering whether to take her hand or make her scram, ask yourself, “Could I carry on seeing her after sex?” The answer to that question will give you all you need to know.


If you like this post, be sure to check out my YouTube channel where you can get shortened speeches from some of the most knowledgeable speakers, all layered over great music from indie artists.

Check out my other posts, there you will find the answers you seek. And if you don’t find them, email me at, I’ll answer your questions personally.

Warm regards,


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