How Can You Continue The Conversation?

The Conversation, 1908-1912 by Henri Matisse

Okay, so you’ve started a conversation with a woman, and now you’re not sure how to continue.

You’re standing opposite her, staring at her face, swaying in the awkward silence while your brain screams, “Come on! Say something!”

Here are the problems:

If you don’t say anything quickly…

  1. She’ll get uncomfortable.
  2. She’ll start thinking you’re weird.
  3. She’ll walk away.

Most likely if you started the conversation with a comment about the situation, she’ll say, “Well… good luck.”

And if you started the conversation with a compliment, she’ll say, “Well… thanks.”

And then, you’re back to loneliness….

What Can I Do To Fix This?

No matter how you started the conversation, you can continue it with the same method.


You pick something unique about her and comment on it, then ask questions.


1. One woman I met wore a few pin badges on her coat.
Immediately, I said, “Hey… what are these pin badges about?”

She told me they featured the logo of her favourite band.
I asked several questions, and soon we were involved in a conversation about music.

2. Another woman I met spoke with an accent.
Immediately, I said, “You have an accent! What are you doing in this city?”

She told me she had moved, and was now living in my city.
I asked several more questions and we were in a conversation about travel.

3. Another woman I met was wearing little plastic cows as earrings.
I said, “Are those COW earrings?! They are cool. Were they a gift?”

She told me she bought them at a fair.
I asked a few questions about the fair and what she saw there, and we were in a conversation about city events.

Nick Krauser calls it, “Say what you see.”
Kezia Noble calls it “Hook Theory.”

In conclusion

Look for something interesting about her and talk about it. Ask questions about it. And then add something interesting to the conversation.

Next time you are in this situation – ask yourself:
“What is interesting about this person?”

Then discuss that topic and learn something new, while adding the knowledge that you know.

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