I need help in bantering, how to do it. My approaches mostly go straight into rapport after a direct opener. I’m missing the bantering and I know it will make my approaches much deeper and stronger. What are some examples of bantering?
Personally, I dislike the word banter because it brings up images of posh university students as well as the game-less characters from The Inbetweeners.
So although I don’t say I “banter” when I talk to a girl, I definitely tease and challenge. And it is vital.
Why Should You Challenge A Woman?
Without challenging the girl after you’ve opened directly, she’ll be happy to take the compliment and then leave.
It’s the challenge which makes her stay. It’s the challenge which makes her think twice. Ideally, she’ll want to defend herself, but your teases need to be subtle and have little emotional impact as you don’t want to trigger her insecurities.
Notably, if she already thinks you’re attractive, she won’t need much of a challenge. A light tease should suffice.
How Do You Challenge A Woman?
On the first meeting, you don’t know much about her, so you might go on three things—
1. What her voice sounds like a.k.a her accent.
2. What clothing or jewellery she’s wearing a.k.a her fashion choices.
3. What she’s carrying or holding a.k.a. her bags or backpacks.
Your belief should be “I’m more amazing than you. That’s really funny.”
With that mindset you can charm her easily.
What Lines Can You Use?
First, if she starts speaking with an accent, you can say—
“You’re not from here! Ha. Your accent is so cute. I wonder if you can say three free throws.”
Note that most foreigners have difficulty with the English th sound.
If she’s Russian you can tease her on the w sound and v sound.
Next up is dress sense, you can pick some lint of her—if you see any—and say, “Let me just get rid of that.”
You can also tease her on choice of color, “Wow, bright yellow ! You’re brave.”
Or you can comment on something currently common, “Okay, converse all stars, you are so in the in-crowd.”
Last are her shopping bags or back pack. You might say, “H&M hey? Are you still on the student budget?”
If she isn’t carrying bags, you can say, “In the city center but no shopping bags… You must be out for some window shopping.”
Those challenges should all be said with a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eyes—your not insulting her, your just playfully teasing. You’re metaphorically giving her a poke on the shoulder so you can watch her topple and sway like she’s Mr. Wobbly Man.
If you like this post then share it on social media. Check out my other posts, too.
If you have a question, email it to email@example.com
I run a YouTube channel here.