Is there a relationship between approach anxiety and low self esteem?
I say no.
That’s because, speaking personally, I’ve been developing my charm with women for over 6 years. Meaning, I’ve been working on my self esteem for over 6 years, and can say that I’m the most confident and ambitious person I know (not including my meetings with minor celebrities). So, I believe my self esteem is higher than the majority of the population – and you should note that I’m still working on it, making it higher.
What Is Self-Esteem?
I think self esteem is having faith in yourself. And keeping faithful even through your most difficult times. By faith, I mean belief without proof, ultimate trust in yourself, to stay sure of yourself in the face of all wrong evidence. To stand alone in a crowd, and believe it’s not you who is mental, it’s not you who is lying.
Thomas Edison had self esteem.
Donald Trump has it, and so does Russell Brand.
Saying that, I still get “approach anxiety” when I see a sensational woman.
What’s Approach Anxiety Anyway?
I think it’s bullshit.
I don’t get afraid to approach a sensational woman anymore; it’s just a feeling of stress or laziness.
What I do get, is a feeling every time I catch a beautiful face, an incredible figure, dressed in a phenomenal outfit. And after questioning that feeling, I want to attempt to explain it:
It stops and makes me catch my breath, swallow my tongue and question myself and my motives.
I still go, “holy shit.”
And what is it similar too?
Maybe it’s the same feeling I had when I first saw Eric Mongrain play AirTap!
Perhaps it’s the same feeling as standing over the Grand Canyon.
I personally feel it’s something like admiration, inspiration and awe. I’m stopped by it and momentarily mesmerized. It’s like witnessing something extraordinary, being in the presence of something great.
Back four years ago, I dated a girl from Latvia. At that point, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever dated. Every time I saw her I’d feel a surge of… Horniness? Arousal? Masculinity?
When you see a women who stands out among the mediocrity, you get a surge of energy – like a spark to your fire – which makes you want to reach higher levels. It’s like a reminder that you should be more (that’s why men puff their chests out on the beach). She is effectively like a mini-revolution, giving you the fuel you need to evolve.
If you like, women are to men, as wheels are to a car – the reason you move forward.
The Change Of Perception
In conclusion, I still get “approach anxiety” when I approach a woman, but I wish to separate that from high self esteem—because AA is typically considered a negative idea in the pickup community (something to get over). But if you want to feel happy and comfortable with yourself then you must feel okay with the fact that you will always get nervous when you see a sensational woman.
Therefore I’ll change the perception from “approach anxiety” to the idea of having to fight through your old, weak self and challenge your old, weak ideas. All through your pickup life, different women will give you ‘interjections’ and make you realize that you can be more. I think the nerves come from the clash between your potential self and the person you are now. Remember that you’re always fighting through your past, to develop your self esteem and become more, more and more.
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